After the Session

It took about an hour and a half for Suicide to finish the portrait. It was incredible! He got every single curve of my body. I couldn’t believe he could see that well from where he was sitting.
“Are you guys done?” Sorrow called though the door. “I’ve already counted the hairs on my head about four times.”
“Let me get my pants on,” I called back as I stood to get my clothes.
“I believe,” Suicide commented as I pulled my clothes on, “the saying is keep you pants on.”
“More like keep them off,” added Sorrow as I opened the door. I was going to counter but he had caught me in a welcoming hug that forced the air out of me.
“He missed you,” Suicide spoke softly as he walked past us.
“Where do you think you’re going?” I grabbed him and pulled him into a group hug. After trying to hug the life out of one another, my cell began to ring. I wiggled out from between Suicide and Sorrow, and stepped into the living room to answer it.
“Hello?” I asked happily.
“Jonathan?” Happiness replied. “There’s a little problem.” A smash came out of the background. “Well, a big one actually.”
“What is going on exactly?”
“It started yesterday. Up until then I was able to keep everyone under control. Muse kind of snuck into your library,” He’s so dead, “and found a volume of ‘Voodoo Enchantments and Spells.’” I knew I shouldn’t have bought that book! But it was free with that purchase of ‘The Pagan King…’ How could I resist?
“What did he do exactly?” I asked, beginning to worry.
“Well, he convinced Aggression that if they sacrificed a virgin they could summon you back.” I heard Dream yelling “Let me go! Let me go!” in the distance.
“They’re going to sacrifice Dream?”
“Actually… they’re going to sacrifice Social Life, Dream, and me. I barely escaped them this morning.”
Bloody Hell! I should have known that if I was gone for a few weeks something weird would happen. I have to say, though, a voodoo ritual was definitely not expected.
“What am I supposed to do?” Happiness asked fearfully. “They’re going crazy!”
“Okay, just breathe. Calm down, calm down. Now, I want you to go to your door.” She did so. “Look outside and see if Muse or Aggression is around.” I heard the doorknob click and the door squeak open.
“No one,” she whispered.
“What I want you to do, is go find them-”
“What?!”
“and tell them I want to speak to them.” After a moment of silence, she agreed. In about a minute I heard her cry, “Muse! Aggression! Jonathan wants to speak to you!”
I wasn’t sure what was going on for the next few seconds. All I heard was: “Jonathan!” “Finally!” “Hey! Let go!” “Give me-” “No, me!” “Just let me-” “No! “Mine!” In the end, I was put on speakerphone.
“Jonathan!” Muse cried happily. “I miss you!”
“I miss you more!” Aggression added.
“Muse,” I spoke softly, “why don’t I hear Dream, Lust, or Social Life?”
“Well…” he replied, “they’re asleep?”
“Muse. Untie them.” I waited a moment. “Now!”
I heard him hustle to do so as Aggression spoke to me, “We didn’t mean anything. We just thought-”
“that a voodoo ritual would bring me back? I’m just a phone call away you know. If you want to talk to me about something, call.”
“I didn’t think about that…”
“Jonathan!” Dream was puffing into the speaker. “When are you coming home?”
“I can’t like stand it here!” added Social Life.
“Guys,” I replied, “I told you I would be gone for a few weeks. This is really important. I needed to see Suicide.”
“But-”
“No excuses. I’ll be home in three weeks, okay?” They all replied with mutters of agreement. “Happiness, would you go get Lust?”
“Sure,” she replied. Her footsteps resonated through the receiver.
“Now listen, all of you. I put Happiness in charge for a reason. You are to listen to her, no mutinies allowed. Understand?” Again, mumbles of agreement.
“Is that you Jonathan?” Lust called.
“It’s me.” I heard her shriek with glee and head closer to the phone.
“I’ve been wanting to-”
“Lust. Why don’t you wait to tell me what you want to tell me? Okay?”
“Okay…”
“Dream, I want you to interact with everyone. Don’t try to lock yourself up like you usually do. It’s ridiculous. Aggression, no taunting him. He’s shy. Play nice. Social Life, help Happiness around the house. There are a lot of chores to be done. Muse, stay in line. If you’re good from now on, I’ll play any game of your choice upon my return.” I heard him cry, “Finally!” after making my promise. “Lust, I’ll call you in an hour so we can talk. Okay?”
“Okay,” she replied reluctantly.
“I love ya’ll. Talk to you later.”
“Bye Jon!” They cried in unison as I hung up the phone…